Fear Me by Elsie Snave

Author:Elsie Snave
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: love, suspense, drama, fantasy, magic, angel, magical
Publisher: Elsie Snave

Chapter Seven

April 6th

Six days. It’s been six days since I’ve come to the conclusion that normal is something I desire. Something I wish to re-obtain. But who defines what normal is? Someone else’s sense of normal can be completely foreign to me. Does that make it any less normal? No, I don’t think so. I guess what I’m searching for is my sense of normal, my sense of fitting in.

Yesterday I willingly kissed Tristan with no reservations as I have before. He’s a very good kisser and I could get lost in him easily. I know that he was thankful for my willingness to give in and finally admit to my feelings but that didn’t mean that it didn’t come with my share of guilt. I knew that once Colton found out he’d be hurt. Can I really look into his beautiful haunted eyes and witness his heart break or see the light drain out of them? Honestly I don’t think that I’d survive it. I was guilty of loving them both.

Tristan had asked me to spend the night in his room with him to relax and although it was tempting I just couldn’t cross that line. Not that I thought he was going to push me to do something that I wasn’t ready for because he wouldn’t. If anyone had the upmost respect for me it was Tristan and Colton. They would never push me to do anything that I didn’t want to do including decide between the two. Tristan was under the assumption that I have already chosen him. I guess in a small way last night I had. Although I could have just as easily ran into Colton to train and that could have been him that I kissed. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was less about whom I was kissing and more about my willingness to give in to my emotions at all and risk being hurt.

I feel terrible for using Tristan like that. What could I say to him knowing what I know now after what happened last night? Would he expect us to kiss when we saw each other next? I couldn’t do that; not if it was in front of Colton. This had to stay between him and me because I wouldn’t risk Colt getting hurt by my choice to kiss Tristan.

I’ve been hiding in my room for hours after the sun rose into the sky. I normally am out of my room and eating breakfast two hours ago but I can’t risk seeing Tristan. Not yet, not before I’ve figured out how I’m going to handle the situation. Who am I kidding; I’m just delaying the pain because no matter how long I sit here and think about what to say or how to handle the situation I still come up blank and I always will. All I keep thinking about is what my mother said. That love is my strongest ally. I still haven’t tested that theory.

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